9 miles of Santorini

Her palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There’s vomit on her sweater already: Mom’s spaghetti.

Aka, my thoughts as I was tricked into going on a  9 mile hike from Oia to Fira.

So apparently my sleep cycle is not regulated yet. I woke up at 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep because I had heard someone trying to open the window next to the bed….. it could also have been the wind… who knows? All I know is that I broke out in a sweat and didn’t sleep again until 7:30 ish… I had plans to wake up at sunrise at 7:15 anyways, but was underwhelmed… mainly because I think I missed it and that it was too cloudy. So today was spent exploring the island and getting lost on our path from Oia to Fira.

Here is the rundown of the day:


  • We finally arrived last night after a little ticket snafu, but alas, we made it.
  • The driver from the villa who picked us up was super charming. An older gentleman who went full My Big Fat Greek Wedding on us. Remember that scene where the father is in the car with the kids and says that the Greeks are the greatest because all words derive from a Greek root. He was like, this is very farfetched, but it is very true. Then he challenged us to give him words and he’d break it down for us. I kid you not, this was real. It was literally a scene straight out of the movie.


  • The villa that we’re staying at in Oia is beautiful. It feels like we’re staying in a cave, but it has its modern kicks at the same time. The view is beyond this world. White adobe style houses with cobalt blue windows or tops. It’s truly unbelievable.
  • The villa however did have its lows:
    • Floor tiles were dirty, I felt like I was tracking dust everywhere.
    • The bed/ blankets felt itchy…. so I brought out the bedding slip I carried.
    • The bathroom didn’t have a vent to let out/ suck up the humidity so the air came into the bedroom and it was super dewy smelling.
    • The phone didn’t work.
  • Once we arrived to the hotel, the staff that received us demanded to take our backpacks. We were trying to take our own packs because they were super heavy and there is no bell hop cart to carry our things. The streets of Oia are winding and not paved for things to easily roll on. It’s so all over the place that they use donkeys to move material.

Hiking 9 miles:

  • I somehow got tricked into doing a 9 mile hike from Oia to Fira. First we started out walking the pedestrian route that had the picturesque views. Then when we looked at our map that the hotel gave us, we realized that it was only half the hiking trail on the map. So we pretty much relied on our innate directions (LOL) and the path barely marked out by spray paint. If we were lucky and paying attention to the road, we’d come up a marker. As soon as I realized we were hiking, you can bet your ass I was feeling very morbid. I’ve always had a fear of falling off a cliff because I rolled down a mountain headfirst way back when and I’ve been traumatized ever since. So imagine finding out as we go that some of the path was unpaved and with no barrier from me and the side of the cliff.
  • The hiking path was super interesting. It took us through smaller cliffside communities which were totally confusing because you think that hiking means nature, but it was a bitch and a half to hike up and down steep stairs. We accidentally took the harder path and definitely had me thinking what we would do if I sprained an ankle or fell off the mountain. My vertigo was kicking in.
  • However horrible I made this sound, the views were indescribable. It took us 4.5 hours because we got lost, I’m hella slow, and we also stopped to take a lot of photos. They said it would only take 3 hours…. for slow hikers…. I definitely proved them wrong.

Meeting People:

  • A staffer at the hotel. Poor guy had to lug our backpacks…. Which are about 30 lb each. He definitely was struggling. I even asked if I could take my bag, but he refused to put them down. He was a grade-A asshole, but in a good way? He has no fucks to give for tourists and I think that this plays into the character of this hotel. He is extremely helpful but also pulls our leg about the smallest things. He also couldn’t believe I made the 9 mile hike in a dress…. ever heard of #dresslikeawoman ???
  • Just when I was feeling super defeated going up a rigorous path up the mountain, huffing and puffing, I see these little old Asian ladies coming down the mountain with no hiking gear and layers of jackets. They didn’t even break a sweat. Meanwhile I was stripped down to just my dress and I was sweating like a waterfall. As soon as I saw them, I thought….. IF THESE GRANNIES CAN FREAKING DO IT…. MAYBE I CAN TOO!!! We asked them if they came from Fira and they nodded yes and said yes Fira… to be honest, I don’t think they understood us because there is no way they hiked 9 miles without breaking a sweat. But this was enough motivation for me to keep going.
  • My reward for hiking was this restaurant called Kyra Niki. Our driver suggested it since it was his absolute favorite restaurant in Santorini. We were met with this man, Yani, who heavily resembles Branden’s brother-in-law. He was so awesome. I was hangry at this point and even told Tonga that she was a dirty liar for saying that she could see the restaurant when we were a million miles away. So anyways, the food…. AMAZING…. They had all my favorites and in huge portions. We ordered 4 plates which are meant for sharing with a family. I think Yani didn’t think we could eat this all and was actually baffled when we finished off almost everything…. Everytime he came by our table, we had a new question for him:
    • What time do stores in Fira close?
    • How can we get a taxi?
    • How much is a taxi?
    • Where can we get cheap wine?

Yani answered each question with a  smile and even brought us free dessert. This place was excellent would recommend to anyone.

  • Old lady in the shop. We were trying to find some souvenirs and we somehow got to chatting with her about the culture and history of Santorini. She had told us that back in the 70’s this place was extremely different. The only way to travel was via donkey or walking and when someone new came into town, everyone would come out on the streets to see who the newcomber was. We ended up chatting some more about the history and traditions of Santorini. She through in some free souvenirs for us too!
  • Ok so this next one is a puppy. This puppy found us and started following us until we went to a cafe. But the puppy is currently waiting outside in the doorway for us!


  • Kyra Niki is a MUST!!!! So amazing and great service. Ate too much that I wanted to throw up. The iced coffee was also very creamy and rich and incredibly perfect. I forgot to take pictures because I’m a hangry bitch….. SORRY TONGA!!!

Until tomorrow!